NFL Fo(u)r Days

It's the time of year for NFL football on Saturday. The Patriots played on Saturday and they stunk.

Then more NFL games on Sunday per the usual.

Then Monday night football.

Now Tuesday night football....? I guess we have COVID to thank for that. Hopefully the rest of the season will be played as scheduled.

COVID, COVID, go away.

Come again never!

My Dream Job

I went to a job interview late yesterday.

Lew drove me and we both went inside the building. One of the first people we saw was a guy we apparently knew from church.

Then I went to the first part of my interview. It was on the first floor of the building in a room with a large table in it. Someone showed me what seat I should take, and the next thing I knew every other seat at the table was occupied by current employees. They asked me all sorts of questions, and I was quite humorous in my responses. One of the women asked whether I invested in some company I had never heard of. I told them I took an investment class while getting my MBA, and that it was SO boring... I even slumped in my chair to illustrate the extent of my boredom. They all laughed! I think they liked me.

It was time for the second part of my interview. A woman was leading the way, and she suddenly said "Oh, wait!" as she started running up some stairs. After a few steps she looked back at me and I realized I was supposed to be following her... despite her saying to wait.

The executive offices were upstairs. It was a beautiful space. I sat in a large open area and was again surrounded by a lot of other employees. (I even knew one of them from a prior job!) The CEO got up and welcomed me and said we were going to watch a video.

I didn't understand the video, but I did notice the picture was upside down. Nobody seemed bothered by this, which made me suspicious.... Was this a "test" for me? So I spoke up and said the picture is upside down. I was correct about it being a test! They wanted to see if I had the guts to speak up.

Then we played a game where we introduced each other. When it was my turn to introduce someone else (Melinda) I did a little dance step. They all laughed! I think they liked me.

I don't know whether I got the job or not, because I woke up before they told me.

The Curious Case of the Candy Cane

Last night after Lew and I had both gone upstairs to get ready for bed, Lew asked me, "Where did this candy come from?"

I went to see what he was talking about. There was a candy cane in the upstairs hallway that had not been there when we ascended the stairs.

My initial thought was that Lew had planted it there to give me a mystery to solve, which would have been a unique way to start my vacation.  He denied it multiple times, mainly because I accused him of it multiple times.

I finally accepted the fact that one of the cats had found it and brought it to the hallway.  But where had he/she found it?

Then Lew said, "Something happened here." He was talking about his shoe rack in our closet. Some of the shoes were on the floor. (Cat!) I happened to notice the slippers I gave him for Christmas were still in the clear plastic bag they were packaged in....

Mystery solved! I had included a candy cane with the slippers. It took over six months for a cat to discover it.

(P.S. For those of you wondering why Lew hasn't worn the new slippers yet: He says his old ones are still okay, but close to being retired.... He ordered the new slippers himself, by the way!)

Motion Sickness

Last night I mentioned I am prone to motion sickness.

I have never been able to read in the car. My mother can read an entire book while riding in a car on a long trip; I have to twiddle my thumbs.

I rode on a Ferris wheel only once. It was when I was a teenager. I think the ride attendant was flirting with me because he wouldn't let me off. I high-tailed it to the nearest restroom and threw up after I finally convinced him I was feeling sick. (I think my mother and Aunt Debbie let him know about it, too!)

Years ago, when I was visiting Suzy and Barry, I went with them to an amusement park. It was an overnight trip with a bunch of high school kids from their church. I didn't ride anything that made me feel sick, but I did go into one of those movies where you're driving the race car and stuff like that. It made me queasy....  So queasy that Suzy had to stop the car on our way to the motel so I could throw up on the side of the road. (Barry was driving a van of kids behind us, and he claimed they didn't notice.) The girls all wanted to stay in the same motel room, so Suzy and I got a double room all to ourselves that night. That was very fortunate.

When Lew and I went to see the third Bourne movie in the theater, I ended up "watching" the last half hour of the movie with my eyes shut. The motion was so choppy and I just couldn't handle it. Tossed my cookies when we got home.

I could tell you more stories, but I believe the above collection gives a good glimpse of the truth of the matter.

Emily's Post

(I hope that Emily doesn't mind my sharing something she posted on Facebook today. I will never be able to top her brief story. Enjoy! ~ Tracy)

Today's true story I wish wasn't.

Eli - "Mommy, does water make ants dead?"
Me - "It can."
Eli - "Good. I peed in the ant trap next to the toilet for you."

Goody

A Fortunate Sound

Writing prompt: Punishment and reward.

 

I am reminded of a childhood event that I don't remember all that well - except for one detail....

 

The screeching of the car tires.

 

This is what happened (from what I've been told): Some older kids in the neighborhood were crossing the street and I wanted to follow. I was far too young to be crossing the street by myself, but I went anyway. And I almost got hit by a car. The car was able to screech to a stop. I do remember the sound.

 

My mother was inside the house and saw the event (or at least heard the commotion) and wanted to kill me herself. Instead she called my grandparents, who came and picked me up and took me out for ice cream!

 

And there you have the difference between parents and grandparents.

 

Smile!

A Happy Airline Baggage Story

Writing Prompt:  Baggage.

I know the word "baggage" is often used to refer to emotional issues and the like. I really don't want to write about that kind of baggage. So....

On a trip home to Maine (when I lived in Kansas), I had a connecting flight in Chicago, I think. When I got to the gate, I saw that there was an earlier flight to Portland than the one I was ticketed for. This earlier flight got in around 8:30 p.m., which was a much better time than my midnight ETA.

I asked if there were any available seats on the earlier flight. The attendant wasn't sure yet, but they took my name and told me to be listening for it. If they could get me on the earlier flight, then they would -- but my checked baggage wouldn't arrive until the later flight. That was fine with me! (These were the days when making flight changes were much easier.)

I made a phone call to my parents. "If you don't hear back from me, pick me up at the airport at 8:30 p.m."

I got a seat on the earlier flight at the last minute. When I arrived in Portland, I went to the baggage claim to let the desk know I would be back the next day to pick up my luggage. Before I got to the counter, I glanced at the baggage claim carousel. What do you think I saw?

The first bag out was mine! Somebody was on the ball.

Thus ends my happy airline baggage story.  :)

Once Upon an Amusement Park Ride

Writing Prompt:  A hotel story.

In this case, the word "story" could refer to a building level or a tale. I don't really want to write about a building, so I'll tell a tale....

The following is true.

When Suzy and Barry lived in the Midwest, they took their church youth group to an amusement park.  I went along as an additional chaperone. (I was either visiting or also living in the area. Some of the details are a bit fuzzy.)

This outing required staying overnight at a motel. (Okay, I know the prompt says "hotel." Humor me.)

All of the guys stayed in one room.  There were two rooms for the girls. The original plan was that Suzy and I would split up and each stay with half of the girls.

The girls all wanted to stay in the same room. (I can't remember how many there were, but I remember thinking the idea was insane.)  They insisted, however, so they got their way.  I think we put them in the middle of the three adjacent rooms.

This means that Suzy and I got to room together.  Ahhh... peace and quiet... except for the fact that I was sick from the amusement park rides!  So it was probably good that the rooming situation worked out the way it did.

And my five minutes were up a little bit ago, but I had to finish my story.  :)

I Don't Desire a Magic Lamp

Writing Prompt: Three Wishes.

I'm cheating on this Five-Minute Friday post. I just spent five minutes searching on the Internet for two things:

1) The title of a short-story that I once read, which came to mind because of the writing prompt -- specifically the word "wishes." I remembered the plot, but not the title nor author. Thanks to my googling skills, I found what I was looking for.

2) Once I knew the short story's title and author -- "The Bottle Imp" by Robert Louis Stevenson -- I wanted to link to it in this post. It is on the Project Gutenberg website as part of the short story collection Island Nights' Entertainments. Click HERE to read it.

I can't remember how I came across this story, but it's one that has stuck with me (despite my not recalling the title and author).

I encourage everyone to take the time to read it. I plan to do so again.

(PostScript: I feel like I've written about this story before!)

Two Down, One to Go

Earlier today my father predicted that California Chrome would not win the Preakness.

After the race I went to tell Dad we must be living in an alternate universe.  (For those of you that don't know, California Chrome did indeed win.)

Now that he has the first two legs of the Triple Crown under his saddle, will California Chrome be able to win the Belmont Stakes?

We will all find out on June 7th!

(Postscript:  If I ever own a racehorse, I am going to name it Maine Metal.)

Debbie Tells a Story

Debbie, Glen, and Sadie walked up to our house last night.  We were all hanging out on the porch when Debbie shared the following story....

Zack had been fitted for a football helmet, but later on it became apparent that the sports equipment representative had messed up the sizes.  So Debbie had to drive Zack to a shop in Auburn in order to get it straightened out. 

The gentleman at the shop called the original representative and began the conversation by saying, "I have a pretty lady here...."

Glen interrupts with, "You have mentioned 'pretty lady' every time you've told this story!"

My response:  "Good for you, Debbie!  You can't leave out the best part!"

(Postscript:  The correct helmet size has been ordered.)

I Explain Something for My Husband

Lew went to the grocery store yesterday and bought a gift for me because he knew I was suffering from a cold.

The gift was a package of Oreo cookies.

"Now don't eat these all at once, Baby," Lew said to me.

"Okay.  I won't."

Did you ever hear the story about the frog and the scorpion?  The scorpion needs to cross the river, so he  asks the frog to carry him across.  "I promise not to sting you," says the scorpion.  Halfway across he stings the frog anyway and they both end up drowning.  With his dying breath the scorpion explains, "It's in my nature."

And that's why all of the Oreo cookies are already gone.

Vacation Day Memories

Story of the Day
We went over to Matt, Emily, and Eli's house for a wonderful dinner of baked ziti, salad, garlic bread, and cupcakes.  After Eli had his "tubby" he was crawling around on the living room floor in his birthday suit -- a calculated parental risk.  Emily was in the kitchen, Matt and Lew were chatting, and I was watching Eli play with some toys.  He was on one end of the living room, I on the other.  When I began to act frantically, Lew expected to see me running to grab Eli out of harm's way.  Instead I went in the opposite direction!  As I said, letting a baby crawl around naked is a calculated risk... one that did not pay off in this instance.  (I watched him do "number two," by the way.)

Photo of the Day
Me, Lew, and the Atlantic Ocean.  :)

Intelligent People Only!

I had my day all planned, and it turned out to be completely different!  But that's okay.  I was able to spend unexpected time with some church friends this morning, and I was right where I needed -- and wanted -- to be.   :)

Now I'm trying to come up with a good blog post, and I admit that I'm drawing a bit of a blank.  So I have decided to employ the technique used in the story of The Emperor's New Clothes (by Hans Christian Andersen).

Only intelligent people will be able to read what follows:














Were you able to read the above?

(Postscript:  Okay, so that wasn't fair, I know.  But I'm tired!  Thanks for checking in.  G'nite!)

A Bedtime Story

All day long I've been humming the song:

I hear the secrets that you keep,
When you're talking in your sleep.

Why's that, you ask?

Before he left for work this morning, Lew told me that I started talking in the middle of the night.

I guess that I was patting my hands around on the bed, like I was looking for something, and asking "Where is it?  Where is it?"

He thought that I was looking for the T.V. remote.

But then I sat straight up in bed and said, "I think I'm losing my mind."

And so it begins!

You Paid HOW Much?!

Last Saturday I got home from shopping and modeled my beautiful new white dress for Lew.

"See how nicely it flows?  .... But I do need an updraft to get the full effect -- you remember that scene in The Seven Year Itch, don't you?  .... This is the very dress that Marilyn Monroe wore!"

I could not read the expression on Lew's face.

Finally he asked me, "And just how much did that dress cost you?"

"4.6 million dollars -- plus an additional one million in fees."

I managed to cradle Lew's head before he hit the floor.

"Wake up, Sweetie, wake up!  Don't worry....  I didn't take the tags off of it yet...."

(Postscript:  The above scene happened only in my imagination.  When I read -- in real life -- that the dress had been auctioned off, I mentioned the final bid to Lew.  He said, "You know, I wanted to get that dress for you."  Thanks, Sweetie.  It is indeed the thought that counts.)

Three Short Stories

There is an elementary school right down the road from our house. Although the last day of school was yesterday, the school zone lights were flashing when I headed for work this morning. So, I slowed down to the 15-mph speed limit. Other vehicles going in the opposite direction were also going slowly. But apparently the driver of the jeep that nearly rear-ended me didn't feel that it was necessary to obey the school zone restriction. He didn't slow down at all until he was practically on my bumper. Then he had the nerve to honk. I waited a few seconds, and then I pulled off to the side to let him go by. Gee, I hope that he had a great day.

While Lew was at work today, he received a phone call from Matt. Matt was on his way to a wedding and couldn't get his tie tied. He had been looking for instructions on the Internet and apparently couldn't find anything that helped him. So, if he stopped by to see his dad at work, would he help him?? And Lew said, "Sure, stop on by." And the tie got tied. A happy ending.

It was a gorgeous day here in Southern Maine. Lew and I took our first beach walk of the season after we got home from work. We saw several little kids laughing as they played in the water. And we also saw a lot of bikinis!

So, There! (Your Sequel)

The following continues my story from yesterday. But I'm emphasizing something else this time. (Can you guess what it is? No? You're kidding!) Again, determine which line most resembles your own usage, and you're all set!

I heard that you're still hoping to go to the movies.
You could go in your own car, you know.
Did you say that you're willing to drive?
And you're even willing to share your popcorn?
You're the best!

So, There!

They don't want to do their work today.
There is a good explanation for that.
They're still tired from all of the work they did yesterday.
So, they're going to go to the movies instead.
They will buy popcorn there.
Popcorn is their favorite snack at the movies.
Would you like to go there with them?
Well, you can't! So, there!

"There" or "their" or "they're"...? I have written the preceding story to assist with that question. Pick the line that most resembles your own usage, and voila! There you go!

Disclaimer: I'm not an English teacher, but English is my first (and only) language.